From anti-freeze garnished salad to anal juice milk shakes, we look at 8 disturbing fast food facts.
Eat Fresh, Eat Rubber
- If most of the world banned the use of an ingredient, you’d think the FDA would follow suit.
- The chemical azodicarbonamide, is used to make yoga mats and those sexy flip flops you love so much. It’s mostly used industrially but it’s also used to make those fast food buns extra fluffy. In large amounts it’s been known to cause respiratory problems, skin irritations, allergies and asthma. Then when it’s baked into your food it becomes a carcinogen. ABA is already banned in Europe and Australia, but America is still pro-chemical crapola.
- Subway was recently singled out in an online campaign because of their whole ‘eat fresh’ vibe. Subway have insisted that they’re going to stop using ABA but don’t worry you won’t be deprived of your yoga mat goodness, this shit is still being used at Mickey D’s, Jack in the box, Wendy’s, and a slew of others. In short; cheap shit in bread be nasty.
- When asked you the ideal number of maggots in your meat ball sub, you’d probably say zero.
- But as it turns out the FDA really haven’t set the bar very high for fast food retailers. These guys are totally chill with your tomato-based sauces containing maggots and fly eggs, yum!
- They’ve even accepted sauces which contain 30 or more fly eggs and 1 or more maggots per 100 grams of sauce. But 31 eggs is the limit, any more than that a serve is crossing a damn line.
Beaver Butt Juice
- Do you ever notice on an ingredient labels say stuff like, “natural flavouring”? Sounds pretty harmless right? WRONG, WE WERE ALL WRONG. *Ah hem* Sorry about that…
- One of these natural flavourings is called castoreum that’s in a heap of stuff; your milk shakes, thick shakes, ice creams. The harmless sounding stuff actually comes from the anal secretions of beavers. Yeah, let that sink in. Both male and female beavers secrete this funky tasting spunk to mark their territory. It’s used all the time as a cheaper alternative to vanilla.
- So sure, anal juice might TECHNICALLY be natural, it comes from nature but for god sake bear urine comes from nature and I’d sure as shit like to know if it’s in my fuckin meal.
Chicken nugget, old flame
- Ahhh chicken nuggets, you make my heart beat faster. I love it’s love and not a coronary.
- Before 2003, Mickey D’s nuggets used to be made with what they call ‘mechanically reclaimed meat’ – which has a disturbing ring to it. That’s where they would throw in all the gross parts of the chicken, put it through a big sieve and killing the bacteria by soaking it in ammonia. Then re-flavour the crap out of it with salt and sugar until it tasted edible. Well you got my mouth watering just thinking about it.
- But then McDonalds got go bitch-slapped by the release of ‘Super-Size Me’ so they switched to white meat for the nuggets. Yay for you guys…except the new recipe still has some questionable shit in it; butane for one, which is a preservative and a kind of lighter fluid. Then there’s something called dimethylpolysiloxane: it’s used to make silly putty and household silicones.
- Apparently some vegetarian dishes aren’t so vegetarian after all. A heap of fast food places uses L- cysteine.
- Which is made from hog hair, duck feathers and even human hair. This stuff is in a heap of fast food buns and commercial breads. It’s also used in the outer shell of apple pies at Mickey D’s. McDonalds will only say that their source is from an animal, but won’t say which animal.
- Some of L-cysteine is from hair salons in China where women sell off the trimmings. So the next time you’re eating an apple pie; remember, you might be eating fried Asian hair pie.
Kentucky Fried Nope
- KFC just wouldn’t be the same without the beloved Colonel Sanders as their iconic mascot. But what most people don’t know it that the real life Colonel Sanders loathed what his restaurant chain became.
- In 1964, the Colonel sold off KFC and according to him it was all downhill from there. He stayed as the face of the company but was really vocal about how shitty the food had become. It was said that he’d had quite a few temper tantrums in front of customers. He yelled about how it was the worst fried chicken he’d ever seen and called the gravy “wallpaper sludge”.
- KFC tried to sue him to for constantly dissing the brand but it was thrown out of court and they slipped the Colonel a cool million the shut the flip up. The fact that the Colonel’s face is still plastered everywhere, kinda makes KFC the Stalin of the fast food world. Hell, KFC probably offed the old guy. Or plot twist; the Colonel is alive in Siberia plotting an uprising. Ahh a boy/girl can dream.
Hold the cheese, please
- A burger without cheese is like a massage in Thailand without a happy ending; not on my watch buddy. Yep, cheese is pretty awesome.
- But the stuff you’re getting at a fast food joint is actually more like 50% cheese. The rest is chemical additives, flavorings, salt and other crap. All the additives are why their cheese doesn’t really melt and stays in one piece where normal cheese gets all gooey and sexy.
- Fast food cheese is basically like the Terminator of cheeses, but more like Robert Patrick Terminator because there’s no destroying it. It’s no wonder it looks like plastic; fast food cheese has more filler than Madonna’s face.
Lube Me Up, Scotty
- Fast food companies can be pretty sneaky when it comes to all the chemical, industrial-style ingredients they’ve snuck into the Big Macs and McNuggets.
- So when you end up at Mickey D’s you think, “no probs, I’m a get me a salad, avoid all the chemical shit” but as it turns out, your salad isn’t so safe after all. There’s a chemical used on fast food salads called propylene glycol. It’s also used in anti-freeze and as a sexual lubricant and much more. So it’s about as appetizing as it sounds. It’s an alcohol based chemical that keeps lettuce leaves crispy.
- As far as the FDA can tell, propylene glycol is safe to eat but considering all its other uses that doesn’t mean it’s the kind of shit you want to be consuming with your ranch salad. So next time you’re lubing up remember that what’s making your anal play possible is also making your lettuce leaves crispier.